If you believe that God is sovereign, however, you recognize (whether you want to or not), that He has given to you the parents and (if you have any) the children He absolutely wanted you to have. I was blessed with wonderful, godly parents, and with two precious sons, all of whom I love dearly. Unfortunately, though, this has not been the case for all of you, my dear brothers and sisters and non-believer readers. Some of you have had "terrible parents" and/or "heartbreaking children".
Because God gave to humankind free will, some of our parents and/or children have made disastrous choices, which severely impacted our lives in a negative way. Some of these negative impacts have been long-lasting, over a course of years!
The truth is: our closest family members have the greatest potential to both enrich our lives and to destroy our lives.
Today's text focuses on family relationships and the mutual love and respect which make them healthy. I've written about the relationship between husbands and wives, in my devotional meanderings through other of Paul's writings. You can explore those at these links below:
Here's the complete text, but we will be focusing on verses 20-21:
18Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. 19Husbands, love your wives and do not be embittered against them.20Children, obey your parents in everything, for this is pleasing in the Lord. 21Fathers, do not provoke your children, so they will not become disheartened.
Colossians 3:18-21
If you grew up in a Christian church, you probably had verse 20 quoted to you repeatedly. (I have always been sort of ... intense ... so, it was quoted to me a lot!) Children can be quite provocative....that is to say, rebellious and disobedient. Believe me, mine have provoked me plenty! The thing is, though, that verse 20 really goes hand-in-hand with verse 21, as verses 18 and 19 go together.
The only other thing to give us pause in verse 20 is that, obviously, we should not obey our parents in ungodliness. Let's say your father is a philanderer and urges you to follow his example. No, just (obviously) NO. That is not what is meant by this verse, which assumes that the parents are walking in righteousness before their children, and leading them accordingly. Parents are never going to be perfect; so, to expect them to be is an impossible standard.
Have you ever known or witnessed a parent, though, who deliberately provoked his or her children? I have. What some would cause "playful teasing" is viewed by some as provocation. I have a child like that. He absolutely does NOT like to be teased. But, that is not what is meant here. Let's look at two action words from this verse, in various translations.
First, the word translated in the NET version as "provoke". Here are synonyms from other versions:
embitter, aggravate, exasperate, "fret and harass", vex, "make angry". You can see that these go beyond simple, playful teasing. Nor do they mean the godly correction that parents are commanded to give their children, although the children will often find such godly correction less-than-pleasant.
When, as parents, we correct our children with an attitude of "lording it over them", and/or using our God-given authority as a mace or a club or a battering ram, then we will often get the response the Bible refers to in the NET as "disheartened" children.
What, then, are some words other translations use for "disheartened"? Discouraged, "lose heart", "become morose".
There are so many applications of this verse in every day life, but when I read it, I think of the meme I put at the top of today's blog post. There are times when we need to correct our children, and even give constructive criticism about their choices, particularly when our children are young and living at home. As they mature and become young adults, we must be very judicious about our "advice". I am learning that lesson, with two "twenty-somethings" whom I love.
The very worst outcome of our training of our children would not be that they come to doubt our love for them, although that would be awful. No, the worst outcome would be if they start to doubt God's love for them. Fortunately or unfortunately, our children begin to derive their concept of God according to how we love them (or not) in our homes.
When you look at our good, good Father, He does not "push our buttons". He does not provoke us to anger or ungodliness, but instead gently "restores my soul" and "leads us in paths of righteousness for His name's sake" (Psalm 23:3). May we, parents or children, follow His example in endeavoring to do the same for each other.
Father, teach me to deal with my dearest loved ones in gentleness and kindness, as well as in holiness. It is an area of weakness for me, this gentle holiness, and a lesson I need to learn over and over. In Jesus' name, amen.
Source:
http://www.picturequotes.com/if-a-child-lives-with-criticism-he-learns-to-condemn-if-a-child-lives-with-fear-he-learns-to-be-quote-228313
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