Exhorting and Rebuking

15Declare these things; exhort and rebuke with all authority.

Titus 2:15 (ESV)

When I was a college sophomore, the university began to make a full-length feature film entitled "Sheffey" ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jrqbnQPrc8o ).  It was based on the true story of a "circuit-riding preacher" of the 1800s, in Appalachia.
Being raised in Appalachia, although not in that century (lol), much of the culture was familiar to me.  As a child I attended many revival meetings.  But, I never got to witness exhortation as it was portrayed in that movie.  There were several revival scenes and, in each one, the main character, Sheffey, exhorted people to salvation.  During "the invitation", at the end of the services, when people were invited to the altar to make a decision for Jesus Christ, Sheffey would visually scan the crowd to discern which folks were under the convicting power of the Holy Spirit.  Then, he would approach them and urge them to go forward to the altar and accept Jesus as Savior.

Have you ever seen that occur?  If you have, please share your experience by making a comment here on the blog.  I would guess this type of behavior is extremely rare. 

The word "exhort" means to come alongside another person and then to urge, to encourage, to even beg them to do the right thing.  1In the New Testament, "exhort" comes from the Greek word "paraklesis".  For you "churchy folk" that sounds a great deal like "paraclete", doesn't it, the word given to describe the Holy Spirit.  "Para" means "with" and "paraclete" means "to come alongside".   Hmmm....

Did you know that the apostle Paul lists exhortation as a spiritual gift, in Romans 12:6-8?  Those with this gift are, first of all, "people people".  They love other people and are uniquely gifted to be discerning encouragers.  By building relationships with others, who see them "walk the walk",  exhorters can then discern when a fellow believer or loved one is struggling.  They then obey the Spirit's leading to intervene in just the right way.  Those with this spiritual gift make awesome disciplers, teachers, counselors and mentors.  They don't merely make suggestions; they deliver Spirit-initiated "encouragement on steroids".

Now, what about rebuking?  I venture to say that this one is even more rarely seen in the modern-day American church.  In today's American culture, we are super-saturated by "tolerance".   As such, we have been programmed by the world to "live and let live", for the most part.  I submit to you, however, that this is a selfish, unloving practice for the Christian.  If you saw someone in imminent physical danger, would you not rescue that person from certain harm, perhaps even death?  Suppose you were standing on a street corner and the child beside you moved to step out into the street.  If you could stop him, would you?  Of course you would!
How much more then, if we see a believer harming himself or another person, or hurting the cause of Christ should we intervene?  To not do so is unloving!  And, what about the unbeliever on his or her way to a promised (according to the Word of God) Hell?  Is it loving to be "tolerant" and not share the saving, liberating Gospel of Jesus Christ?

We must be careful in rebuking, which in the Greek is "elegcho".2  It means to reprimand, to correct and/or to expose sin.  Much of what has been classified as godly rebuking is nothing more than sinful pride and hypocrisy, wrapped up in a veneer of righteous indignation.  There are those in the house of faith who enjoy criticizing, tearing down and pointing the finger at a "weaker brother', when they themselves are eaten up with the sin of pride.  This is not godly rebuking.  Ungodly rebuking is nothing more than "judging", which Jesus prohibited in Matthew 7:1-3.

The godly rebuking described in the Bible (Hosea 2:2, Leviticus 19:17, Proverbs 19:25) is motivated by love for the person being given the rebuke as well as love for the holiness of God.  It is a love so great in the heart of the rebuker that it overcomes his or her natural hesitancy to even do it.
Here are the steps a godly person must follow before issuing a rebuke:
1.  Examine your own heart.  Make sure the Holy Spirit is leading you to speak to the other person about the sin.  Make sure your own heart is clean before God.
2.  Pray.  About #1 above and then pray for the right timing to approach as well as the words to say.  Pray for the person God is leading you to, that the Holy Spirit will do what only HE can do.
3.  Be certain the rebuke is scriptural, and not just your own "opinion".
4.  Make your rebuke a gentle one.  Gentle words deflect anger, even when the content of those words is strong (Proverbs 15:1).  Remember that the Holy Spirit is using you.  It will not be the force of your words that changes hearts.

A good test of whether you are being led of the Holy Spirit in either of these spiritual disciplines is the results of your actions.  That's not to say that others will always respond to the words you say.  But, if as a general rule, most of the time, your words are not received positively or no change occurs in the life of the other person, you'd be wise to re-examine the points 1-4 above.

In closing, here are some scriptures which show the necessity of balance in our relationships with others, in light of these teachings today.

5Better is open rebuke
than hidden love.
6Faithful are the wounds of a friend;
profuse are the kisses of an enemy.

Proverbs 27:5-6 (ESV)

Everything you do should be done in love. 

1 Corinthians 16:14

For we all stumble in many ways.

James 3:2a (ESV)

Let him know that whoever brings back a sinner from his wandering will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins.

James 5:20 (ESV)

Sources:

1    https://www.gotquestions.org/definition-exhortation.html
2    https://www.gotquestions.org/rebuke-believer.html