Have you ever had someone grab a fleshy portion of your body and then just pinch it as hard as they can? Once a toddler member of my family bit the back of my upper arm; I guess she just thought it looked tasty! Surely does hurt, doesn't it?
Disappointment is similar. It's not an all-out tragedy of epic proportions, but it hurts, sometimes for a while.
Perhaps because expectations are higher, disappointments seem to get magnified at the holidays.
- You didn't get that part in the Christmas play.
- Someone else was invited to a special event, "in your place".
- You got a pink, fuzzy Snuggie as a gift.
- Your loved ones chose to spend Christmas Eve, your family's special traditional time, with the in-laws.
None of these events are earth-shattering or life-changing. But, they ache like a bad bruise.
At the root of disappointment is a loss of control. Things don't turn out like we wanted them to. Surely we need to do our best, plan, be organized, be responsible. When we are disappointed, it is like a slap across the face. We are once again confronted with the reminder: our control is an illusion; only God is in control.
"My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts," says the Lord. "And my ways are far beyond anything you can imagine."
Isaiah 55:8
What is the antidote to disappointment, then?
What a lot of us do is to shove down our disappointment and pretend nothing is wrong. That can be useful to an extent; most people don't want to see an Eeyore (the eternally downcast, ever-gloomy donkey from Winnie the Pooh). But, it's not useful in the long run.
If we don't adjust our hearts and attitudes, disappointment can morph into restlessness, anger and bitterness. Those are not useful at all.
What is more healing is to pour out our heart to trusted friends and to God. Our friends can be used by God to counsel us and to give us comfort. And, God can handle our angst. It's okay to cry, to grieve, to rant, even, to God in prayer.
"He knows our frame; He remembers that we are dust."
Ultimately, though, we need to do as the Wise Men did, as recorded in Matthew 2:11. (By the way, Matthew is the only gospel writer who records this event, and most theologians believe it happened when Jesus was a toddler, not a newborn. Matthew has this habit of sometimes presenting events out of chronological order.)
They entered the house and saw the child in the arms of Mary, his mother. Overcome, they kneeled and worshiped him. Then they opened their luggage and presented gifts: gold, frankincense, myrrh.
We need to set aside our disappointment and kneel in the presence of the King, offering back to Him the gifts He has given us.
Most of our disappointments have to do with other people, don't they? Often, they center around those we love the most. Have you ever been asked to lay at the feet of the King those you love the most? I have, and frankly, I don't like it! In fact, submitting my will to His is not "one of my favorite things". My old sinful nature just rears up and resists!
Part of submitting our disappointment to Him can involve changing our focus. Ok, so your plans have changed. God had other plans; trust them. How can you shift your focus to serve Him in other ways. This resplendent walk is all about glorifying Him, you know, as opposed to pleasing ourselves. If this "unfortunate" reality has inserted itself into your Advent, as (quite honestly) it has mine, let's take the steps listed here to "turn it around" for His glory. Ask Him to change your heart, to take away your disappointment and to show you how you can worship Him in this season, starting this day and leading all the way through to the New Year! He will. Remember, when we give ourselves more fully to Him, we are never ultimately, forever disappointed.
Scripture reassures us, “No one who trusts God like this—heart and soul—will ever regret it.”
Romans 10:11
The Message
Dear Father, some of us are going through terrible disappointment this holiday season. Please help us get through it. Although these admonitions of mine sound easy, they're not. Submitting our will to Yours and keeping our joy about it is hard. We so ridiculously believe that we know best. It's laughable! I'm sure you laugh at our preconceived plans sometimes. Have pity on us, dear Lord and bind up our broken hearts. Bandage our bruises and wounds. Pour your healing oil over us and wrap us in your arms of love. Tell us again that it will be okay and that You have a plan in this situation that is better than we could even dream at this moment. We bow before the King in worship and offer our gifts to You. In Jesus' name, amen.
No comments:
Post a Comment