There are several instances in Scripture where God gives a man or woman a vision/assignment, and they doubt. Not only do they doubt, they squirm around, beg, run, or exhibit other frantic avoidance behaviors. Some notable examples are:
- Moses, who claimed he was not a good enough public speaker to lead the Hebrews out of Egypt
- Gideon, who whined to God that he was the least of his family members and that an older sibling should have been chosen (remember his fleece tests?)
- Jonah, who was swallowed up in the belly of a great fish and remained there for 3 days (a foreshadowing/type of Jesus Christ) because God wanted him to evangelize the evil Assyrian city of Nineveh
The point is that God gave these heroes of the faith (yes!) great challenges that, at first, they did not want to accept.
As we read Ezra 6, we see that the work on the temple is progressing nicely, but the naysayers are getting louder and louder. Eventually, they screech, "I'm a-gonna tell the king on you!" and fire off a letter to the Persian king, Darius, to check out the Jews' claim that Cyrus had decreed they could rebuild the temple.
The temple rebuild took many years. In that time, Cyrus had left the throne and had been succeeded by Darius, another pagan Persian king. Jerusalem was still part of the Persian Empire.
The naysayers bit off more than they could chew with this tactic. It backfired on them. King Darius, whose heart, like that of Cyrus, the Lord God had turned (vs. 22), not only re-established Cyrus' decree, he added to it. He told the Persian officials in Jerusalem that they were to actively aid the Jews by seeing to it that they had everything they could possibly want to finish the temple. He went on to pronounce a very pointed and colorful curse upon those who frustrated the work of rebuilding the temple or who would destroy it (vs. 11).
All throughout this process, the Jews persevered and with unflappable commitment kept building the temple, pursuing the vision.
A few years ago, I began to doubt the vision God had given to me about becoming a school principal. My timetable was not jiving with His. I had been an assistant principal for 11 years, more than enough time (in my opinion) to be adequately trained for the principalship. Coincidentally, during this time, my pastor was preaching a long series of messages on discovering God's plan for your life, capturing His vision for your life, etc. I would just sit in church week after week and cry, literally. I was so frustrated, wanting so badly to implement the vision I'd been given and not having the opportunity to do so. During this period, I did a study of Ezra and Nehemiah, using as a study aid Andy Stanley's book, Visioneering. (It is the best book I've ever read on the topic, although I've not looked at it in several years. If you are going through something similar, I highly recommend it.) Eventually, in God's time, He led me to fulfill that vision He had given.
Folks, for 70 long years, the Jewish exiles in Babylon and those who remained in Jerusalem, longed for the temple to be rebuilt. We read in Ezra 3:12 that when the foundations of the new temple were laid, those old men who remembered Solomon's temple "wept and shouted aloud for joy"! But, it was not done in man's timing; it was built in God's timing. We are not in control.
I am wrestling with something similar now, regarding my two children. I long and pray diligently for God's vision to be revealed and fulfilled in their lives. However, they are teenage boys, 17 and 19. You parents who have had teens out there: are you with me? The hardest thing in this life I have ever had to face has been holding on to the vision God has given me for our sons. Every single day, I am tempted to doubt that vision, to wrestle away from God the plan He is implementing, to scream, cry, give up ... you get the picture.
The dearest thing on this earth to my heart - - - I have at this time limited influence over and no control over. God is in control. I am called to faithfully lead, shape, guide, love and most of all, to be a godly example. But, the timing of how God works in their lives, where He leads them, how He shapes them - - - that is all up to Him. In this way, HE gets the glory, not me.
I used to pray a prayer aloud over them, when we had family devotions years ago. Oh, that precious time! I miss it so much! "Raise them up to be mighty men of God, heroes of the faith!" But, you see, I wanted it to be done my way, on my timeline. Then, I would get some of the glory that only belongs to God. It is all about Him. It is all for His glory, not mine.
So, even when I don't "feel" the vision, when I am at my lowest, I am encouraged by Scripture to hold on, not to doubt. My antidote to this sometimes overwhelming despair is to seek His face and pray and pray and pray. And, to ask my loved ones to pray with me.
In closing, the verse Father brought to mind just now was Matthew 16:18. In this passage, Jesus is giving Peter his mission as a leader of the early Church. Jesus knew that Peter (and also the other apostles) would be tremendously opposed. Today, you may feel tremendously opposed in the vision that God has given to you. But, look at what Jesus said to Peter:
He began by asking Peter to affirm who he (Jesus) was: the Messiah, God clothed in human flesh. Then, Jesus affirmed/emphasized that this truth, the truth of His deity, is the foundational stone of the Church, and that if the Church is true to this precept, "the gates of Hell shall not prevail against it" (the Church). If God is in this vision in your heart, if we let God BE God...then no matter the opposition from Satan and his servants, I remind you: "the gates of Hell shall not prevail against it".
Dear One - - - keep on building the temple!
Father, you see me crying right now, as the love for my sons overwhelms my heart. Yet, the love I feel for them is merely a shadow of the love you have for me and for them. Your love for your children extends back to before the foundations of this world were laid, and that is marvelous to me! (Ephesians 1:4) Please forgive me for the times I doubt your love and your plan for me, for them. I praise you that you are God...and I am NOT! Thank you for chiseling away at my spiritual pride and teaching me to be submissive to Your will, as I seek to walk before you .... resplendent!
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